I need help revising a paper. It is about Community.
I will provide the essay.
Here are the comments:
Introduction Paragraph:
Needs Improvement
The writer includes an introduction but it needs more development or modification. See the criteria for an excellent intro.
Thesis Statement:
Needs Improvement
The writer’s thesis may be too general, does not read clearly, OR does not state the main claim of the essay.
Body Paragraphs:
Almost there
The writer needs a little more development of body paragraphs to support the thesis. Some of the body paragraphs could be lacking in development and/or not include enough evidence and explanation.
Conclusion:
Needs Improvement
The conclusion may be lacking in either a summary of the thesis OR a discussion of the greater significance of the topic.
Organization and Structure:
Almost there
The writer could better organize the essay. Some paragraphs might not be logically organized to guide the reader from thesis to conclusion.
Professor comment:
Overall, you need a more focused introduction and thesis statement. Also, the body paragraphs could be more effectively/logically organized to build your case.
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Formatting
Title Page
Citation
Outline
